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Graduation DayGraduation Day:
They told us we would be alright...
We had fought with honour and won our titles.
We had overcome trials together -
Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.
For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;
A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.
All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.
Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...
There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.
Walking miles across the scorching desert,
Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.
Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -
Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.
I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.
I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.
Only stereotypes, can break you.
Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.
They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.
They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.
That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.
The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.
But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.
But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
From YOUR goodbyes.
Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
it left me
with a phantom
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag
Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...
ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow
she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why
i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were
i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.
put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
TearsI am not afraid to cry.
I am not afraid for you to see the tears
Don’t tell me I have no heart.
Don’t tell me I have no soul.
For without them I could not cry.
You may not see my tears but they are there.
I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,
For the things I’ve lost.
They are silent tears, but they are mine.
So let me cry.
Let me show you I have a heart.
Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.
I am not afraid to cry.
I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.
I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
skin like a courtyard of
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.
she beams from atop her
beatific and beautiful,
spreads her arms like
invites you to be one of
who have wandered her
I’ve often thought
as a castle:
all rough-hewn stone
a temper like molten
my head is crowned
at the crenels.
I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits
Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul
To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes
Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity
Hold on to my sanity every single day
Im not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.
Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?
You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.
You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.
Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and
HappyIf I could give you anything,it would be the ability to show you how special you are and how much you mean to me.
I wish you could see that if I could I'd spend every splitting second with you if I was given the chance because I really wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else.
I want you to realise that everytime you make me laugh or smile it brings so much happiness to my life and when I make you smile I feel as if I've accomplished something amazing.
All I want is for you to be happy, I want you to smile,laugh and enjoy your life without a hint of sadness or regret and if that involves me,even better.
I want you to see that I'm not as
Must be LoveI don't know what to do with myself,
I think I'm in love with you but I won't admit that to myself.
And I,I can't stop thinking of you.
It must be love, that I'm feeling,
When you're not around I feel so alone.
I could be surrounded by people,
But all of them,compared to you is a bore.
I can't sleep,without dreaming of your face,
Someday I hope to have that space,next to you.
This has to be love that I'm feeling.
All I can think of is that you're eyes are a perfect shade of blue,
And when they look into mine I can't help but smile.
You're the reason my life is worth while.
It must be love,that I'm feeling.
Without you I feel so
Dreams vs RealityMy eyes begin to feel heavy,
as reality fades away.
My body it feels so tired,
I could sleep any second.
My minds drifted off into somewhere no one else knows,but me.
It's full of things I wish to become and do,
I say things I could never say when I'm awake.
I can be who I want to be and nobody judges me.
I can run around naked and no body stares,
They just join in laughing as we run through fields.
I can suddenly give birth, no questions asked.
I can suddenly be holding this child in my hand,
and no body asks questions.
If I want I can have a unicorn with a clowns wig on its head,
and no bod
ThinkI am a thinker.
Not the type of thinker that discovers new ways to live life,
or to solve equations.
I'm the type of thinker that makes matters worse,
I think about things so much that I think of the worse possible outcomes.
I try to not be like this,Cause honestly I hate it.
I try to ignore the past and think of the future,
Which also scares me so much that I worry my days away.
I've tried thinking of the present, but that too scares me.
I sit here in the present,Liking someone who likes me too.
But I've thought so much that I've scared myself into wondering why he likes me?
I mean I'm not pretty,I don't have an amazing smile, or
MineEver since the day you asked me to be yours,
I've been worrying and thinking to much,
I'm scared to mess up what we are yet to have,
I want to tell you how much I care for you,
But I don't want to look obsessed.
I want to kiss you,
But I won't in case you want to kiss me first.
I want to promise you that I'll never hurt you the way she did,
But you don't know that I know.
I want to shout it to the world that I finally have you,
But we're keeping it quiet to see what we are.
I hate that,I hate not being able to tell the world that you are mine,
and I am yours.
You are the greatest accomplishment in my life,I'm not
Goodnight Enigmatic SongShe was the song you hear and, at first blush, don't like.
Well, you don't know how you feel about it so you keep listening in an attempt to discover how exactly you feel and then you reach the end of the song and you realize, you don't like it; you love it.
That was Grace.
She was my coworker and she was my friend.
We carpooled together, I drove and she slept most of the way.
"Don't get much sleep at night, do you?" I asked her, catching those drooping lids mid-descent.
She looked out the window streaked with rain; it spoke in percussive touches filling the car with quiet overcast conversation.
I felt the warmth of her smile in the corner of my eye. The blur of her hand reached at the window to feel the cold of the droplets.
"When I was a girl, I used to race these. I thought it was funny the fat ones always won," she giggled and I imagined her as a little girl in the passenger seat then, legs too short to reach so kicking, and hair messed in the bac
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`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More