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trappedI'm trapped in his ocean of not just words but actions.
His gentle caresses across my face,
way he looked into my eyes,
the way he held my hand and slid his thumb across mine,
experiencing the imaginary fireworks that they always talk about in the story books.
I'm trapped inside of these feelings.
I know I should hate him but I love him.
I know I should forget him but he's always on my mind.
I know I shouldn't have let it continue once it began, because I knew he wasn't what he claimed.
But I fell for him, as quick as a girl could fall,
When you're so used to feeling useless and unloved that tends to happen to you,
you can't believe that someone so amazingly beautiful could fall for someone like you so you fall fast and you give them your everything because you're afraid of losing them and you don't care about the consequences you just fall into that deep hole.
And what do you do when you realise he's not what he claimed to be? He's not the man he promised you he would be? You're trapp
InsomniaThe joining of our hands gave me this feeling like never before,
the warmth as it flowed through me,
brought a smile to my face,
like no other has done before.
It was simple, it was easy
and it was just what I needed.
The silence wasn't awkward,
I could feel our souls becoming closer
together through our hands.
The kiss, it felt as if there were fireworks in my heart,
raindrops on my lips and a happiness in my mind.
A happiness that had been lost,
thought lost forever.
The smile that I felt as our lips joined together,
the look into each others eyes as I raised my head.
The peace as if my entire life I had been waiting for this moment,
These feelings were uncontrollable,
for the first time in m life
I understood all those movie moments
after a kiss between two people.
The look afterwards,
I understood it.
As we lay beside each other in the bed,
your arm around me,
my head and hand on your chest
and your hand on top of my hand.
The peacefulness of it
Good GuyYou stumbled in my door,
at 3am on a Wednesday.
You laid your head on my lap and
you took a hold of my hand as
our fingers interlocked.
You looked me in the eyes,
promised me you were a good guy,
I agreed with a sigh and a smile.
And believed that you were.
You stayed with me that evening,
you held me all night,
I brushed my fingers through your brown hair,
as you began to fall asleep.
I began to think that for once,
things were going to go right for me.
You left me in the morning,
without a word to be said.
I didn't hear from you for hours,
You really wrecked with my head.
You invited me to a party,
I wasn't sure if I should have but I went,
I nervously dressed myself to look pretty
because I wanted to impress you.
The night went on and you soon warmed up to me once more,
you began to hold me close once again,
but this time I wasn't feeling it.
You have scared me,
I can't be the person you go to when you're lonely,
I can't be the person who doesn't get attached.
That's my problem,
No Permission GrantedI don’t think I have ever liked someone as much as I like him.
My day rises and sets with him,
he’s the first thing on my mind in the morning
and the last thing on my mind at night.
Cheesy as it sounds it’s true.
I didn’t ask to like him,
it sort of just happened,
I just remember sitting in a café talking to him
and laughing with him and it sort of just happened.
Suddenly everyone else in the room just disappeared
and all I could see was him
and ever since it’s been the same.
I could be in a room full of people
and the only one I see clearly is him.
It’s so difficult liking him,
cause he’s the kind of guy EVERYONE likes
so you’re in constant competition with these other people,
be they actually competing or not,
you just get so jealous every time someone else gets to spend time with him
other than yourself and you just cant stand the idea of them being with someone else besides you.
Liking someone who
Dear You.If you would just take the time,
to figure out my mind,
you'd understand the sort of it.
You would find that all this time, since we met the first time,
You've been the only resident of it.
It's hard to find,
someone so kind,
and someone so full of love.
And I won't lie, I never thought I'd find,
Someone I can't stop thinking of.
It's been three years and only now my minds gears have realised,
it's always been you. From the very first day, my mind subconsciously let the love for you over grow.
And now I must know because I can no longer hold the love I have for you.
It ticks like a clock, it just wont stop,
in the back of my mind it stays. As much as I try, it's even made me cry.
I just can't let it go.
The dreams they show, a love I'm yet to know,
a love I'm meant to have.
I want to know, I need to know,
Will you be my other half?
Now don't be scared. I know this is too much, to throw at you in one go.
But it's been a year since it's all been clear, the feelings have stuck
Sorry In Advance.I'm sorry in advance,
I'm sorry I'm probably going to break your heart,
I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice,
and I've heard the voices.
Don't fall for me I'm not worth it.
You can do so much better than me.
I know I'm always saying I want someone to hold me,
someone to take my heart.
But I don't want you to take it,
I don't want yours cause I'll just break it.
It hurts me that I don't feel the same,
I fear the day when I have to tell you the truth.
I wish I could love you because you're the most magnificent person I've ever met.
But I'm in love with him,
He owns my heart.
He doesn't know it, but he has it and one day I hope to have his,
and I know one day I'm going to regret even saying this,
but sorry in advance,
I'm sorry if I've broken your heart.
But it's for the best, put your heart to rest,
because I'll just tear it apart.
God ForbidAs I lay upon my bed, listening to the lyrics that go along with a rhythm that tunes out the story of my being.
The story of my feelings, the story of my pain and suffering.
The words they speak so clearly to me, they get inside of me and they take over and they cause a range of emotions to go through me.
The words "I will always want you" hits me hard as it makes me think of that one person, that one beautiful, amazing,loving but incredibly evil and selfish person that has taken over my mind,my heart and my intelligence.
They stop me from thinking straight, they are evil, which causes me to question why I love them so much? Why?
If it causes you pain you should leave it behind but I can't leave them behind and I honestly don't know what's holding me back.
The lyrics, I can see them rise above from the speakers on my shelf, each song, one after the other telling another story of how I'm so pathetically in love and it's killing me...I have invisible wounds all over my body, inside and o
SignsOur body language gives away our feelings,
the closeness that we share is captured on my lens
You can't deny it we look like we're together,
but we can't deny we won't admit how we feel.
Now I could be wrong,
this could be totally one-sided,
but to me it looks as if you really care,
the look in your eyes I only see when you look at me,
every other girl it's as if you don't even care.
I get tingles in my body when I see you,
My smile gets stronger every day,
It's crazy how someone I feel so much for,
is also the one who's causing me the most pain.
I'm searching for the signs,
and they're all right in front of me,
but signs won't get us together,
it's up to you and me.
just look at what we are,
look at what we could be.
Because I promise you I will always make you as happy,
as you make me.
EdgesI'm standing here on the edge of this cliff,
I watch as the waves they crash and return to the place they miss,
I think of you and where we are,
I think of all the inner scars.
I can't stop my self from thinking,
I can't stop my self from, sinking.
I don't know how to get out of this mess,
Give me your hand and we can try to fix this.
You've got me close, to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
Closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
I need you to weigh this out,
I'm close to the edge, help me.
I can't see my self with any other,
and I can see myself getting along really well with your mother,
cause we have that one thing we both share,
We both love when you are there.
But now you've gotten really silent,
I never see you, never speak to you,
It's the sound of silence.
This is the loudest silence I've heard,
I don't know where you are cause you wont speak a single word.
You've got me close,to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
i need you t
I locked my heart in a mahogany box and threw away the key.
There was no one to care for - there was nothing left for me.
My heart had ceased beating long ago
after years of misery and pain.
Through countless highs and lecherous lows
I became immune to pounding rain.
I walked without even my shadow as a friend.
Numb to all emotions that surfaced to my skin.
Knowing I would be alone to the bitter end
suffering the consequences of sin.
I was shunned and shamed -
bruised and maimed.
No one cared - no one knew.
No one bothered to change my view.
My life was a silent movie
of a language no one spoke.
With plenty of plot holes for all to see
and an ending of mirrors and smoke.
It was getting hard to catch my breath.
Surely death would be oh so sweet.
Addicted to the thought like Crystal Meth,
it skipped through my head like an erratic beat.
She stumbled upon a key that washed up on the shore.
Wondering what it could unlock.
Determined to solve the riddle and explor
if we were to never speak again.In silence absolute
I almost forgot you,
I almost remembered to forget
you, lonely afternoon
of naked breath,
the softness of sunset
as it rakes along my skin.
The nonchalance of the sky
almost unbearably falters
an outbreak of tears
weigh down my hair
memory of your touch,
memory of your heart,
eyes blinking through the rain
glimpses of turquoise-
blue souls dancing, but
not quite entwined.
claws into my brows,
furrows the flesh
rivulets of thought
that tear through my nervous system
cellular tinnitus, reverberations
in my spinal column,
raising mountains from
my body, darklight clouds
ghosting in the peripheries
of my vision
memory of your touch,
memory of your heart,
a lyrical tattoo
of ripened countryside
a vibrant concerto
washed between us
tidal colour drowning,
from your sweet humour
to my aching sternum
the cliffs fall away
and autumn breaks in upon us,
auburn sorrows of light
I Write to a Lover Who Doesn't ExistYou must've noticed how I was left bleeding
Because all you could do was stare
At me with those gemstones you call eyes.
We danced around bookshelves in the mystery section
Pretending not to notice each other
And ignoring the fact that our eyes kept meeting.
I wonder now that if we'd danced in the romance section
Would we have still ignored that part of ourselves?
And after all, aren't mysteries ment to be solved?
You must wash your hair with sunflower petals and pomegranate seeds
Because your aroma is that of a goddess
And I was attracted to you as quickly
As if you had called my name.
Would you call my name?
And would you say yours as well
Because although I have a feeling you go by Aphrodite,
We have not yet acquainted ourselves.
thuggish loverno more on love. tell me
instead of the hearts you've
beaten, and the way
they kept on
I shrug into Harry's shirt
underneath my autumn scarf--
cologne on the cuffs bringing
color as I close my eyes,
the brown of his hair,
laughter, pine green.
Fingers on marbled buttons
smooth as the cream
he puts in his chai.
I think of him like rain on a Sunday,
a slow breath uttered in calm,
eyes shut to listen,
he is peace,
stability in grayer moments.
He is the space in my empty bed
I ache for him the way
I crave prayer and
the feel of a rosary.
lukedon't leave me again;
the seasons flutter by with
the blink of spider web eyelashes
twirled around the pieces of
my decaying heart, molded
and renewed with the dawn
of your spring palms.
my senses spark in a
drunken flood of desire;
i refuse to wash away
our finger-painted memories
into the grasping swallow of
an atlantic undertow, but
the stale taste of vodka
sleeps under my palette.
you don't arc your silver
tongue to sip my salted
gums or latch your fists
into bird's nest tangled curls
--anymore, and the shivers
of shadows spin down my
splintered spine, the snap
of a twig between your
i'm alone; your cosmic dreams
and galactic eroticism treads
underneath another damsel's
breast, an arrow to her heart.
I wallow, naked and discarded,
drinking and drowning in the
alcoholic buzz of your sweat
on my tongue, all along knowing
you and i will never love again.
If I Were A Love PoetFor my Laban. For my love.
Sometimes, often enough
when my thoughts are consumed
with you- I find myself wishing
that I was a love poet.
Wouldn’t it be beautiful
to piece words together so artistically
that I could make people understand
what it’s like to miss hands
that have never held me?
Wouldn’t it be the damnedest thing,
if I could make a stranger
know how it feels to kiss you?
Sweetly, passionately, softly
Hesitantly- and yet all at once?
Even though their lips have never met yours,
Even though our lips have never met.
How lovely would it be
to sanely, yet romantically
explain to my parents what it’s like
to fall asleep with you?
We could tell them how you giggle when I beg you
to be the big spoon- because I feel like it’s to much responsibility.
We could tell them about the sleepy kisses you give me
at 3 a.m when you find me searching for
Make me a soulMake me a soul next to yours,
Make it small so you can hold it in your hands,
Make it blue like in the morning to wake up in you,
Make it strong to cry in silence when you've gone.
Make me a heart as big as the sun,
Make it warm, make it good,
Good to love, good to give, good to pray,
Make it beat for us, for you, for God.
Make me hands to feel,
Make them pure to touch,
Make them soft to caress,
Make them hard to live.
Make me a voice to sing your beauty,
Make it calm when you fall,
Make it sweet when you're mad,
Make it say 'I need you'.
Make me eyes to see you when you're working,
Even if you don't notice me.
Make them big so you can see yourself in them,
Make them deep so they'll be your refuge.
Take my whole existence and seal it with a kiss,
But make me lips to know you love me.
Make me love to know I live.
Make me know that I can dream.
Make me a soul, please.
Make me yours.
IridescentShe dances along the lines of poetry,
Her curls wind amongst the words
And I lie in love with each syllable
That is touched by her.
Thinking off her is not enough
She wraps round each thought
Like iron wrought ribbon -
In decadent dance
She caresses italics,
Winding her way through
Every dream with ethereal grace.
Iridescent, she taught me colour
Oh seraphim, but I am red, and
She lies in margins blue!
Forever my forbidden phallus,
She is everything taboo.
HopeToday, I made a list for you.
A list for me,
To help me to figure out if it's worth waiting for you.
I sat for about an hour thinking of all the good things about you.
The bad things about you.
The first the clear winner.
I re-made this list and tried to get rid of all my feelings for about five or ten.
The first still won.
Your kind,Your sweet,
Your eyes are the most beautiful things I have ever seen,
You make me laugh,Your laugh,Your smile.
I know I will probably never get someone like you,
I mean come on, your amazing, what would you do with a girl like me?
I hope you prove me wrong.
Maybe I'll get the courage one day?
Maybe you'll tell me first.
I can only hope.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More