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trappedI'm trapped in his ocean of not just words but actions.
His gentle caresses across my face,
way he looked into my eyes,
the way he held my hand and slid his thumb across mine,
experiencing the imaginary fireworks that they always talk about in the story books.
I'm trapped inside of these feelings.
I know I should hate him but I love him.
I know I should forget him but he's always on my mind.
I know I shouldn't have let it continue once it began, because I knew he wasn't what he claimed.
But I fell for him, as quick as a girl could fall,
When you're so used to feeling useless and unloved that tends to happen to you,
you can't believe that someone so amazingly beautiful could fall for someone like you so you fall fast and you give them your everything because you're afraid of losing them and you don't care about the consequences you just fall into that deep hole.
And what do you do when you realise he's not what he claimed to be? He's not the man he promised you he would be? You're trapp
InsomniaThe joining of our hands gave me this feeling like never before,
the warmth as it flowed through me,
brought a smile to my face,
like no other has done before.
It was simple, it was easy
and it was just what I needed.
The silence wasn't awkward,
I could feel our souls becoming closer
together through our hands.
The kiss, it felt as if there were fireworks in my heart,
raindrops on my lips and a happiness in my mind.
A happiness that had been lost,
thought lost forever.
The smile that I felt as our lips joined together,
the look into each others eyes as I raised my head.
The peace as if my entire life I had been waiting for this moment,
These feelings were uncontrollable,
for the first time in m life
I understood all those movie moments
after a kiss between two people.
The look afterwards,
I understood it.
As we lay beside each other in the bed,
your arm around me,
my head and hand on your chest
and your hand on top of my hand.
The peacefulness of it
Good GuyYou stumbled in my door,
at 3am on a Wednesday.
You laid your head on my lap and
you took a hold of my hand as
our fingers interlocked.
You looked me in the eyes,
promised me you were a good guy,
I agreed with a sigh and a smile.
And believed that you were.
You stayed with me that evening,
you held me all night,
I brushed my fingers through your brown hair,
as you began to fall asleep.
I began to think that for once,
things were going to go right for me.
You left me in the morning,
without a word to be said.
I didn't hear from you for hours,
You really wrecked with my head.
You invited me to a party,
I wasn't sure if I should have but I went,
I nervously dressed myself to look pretty
because I wanted to impress you.
The night went on and you soon warmed up to me once more,
you began to hold me close once again,
but this time I wasn't feeling it.
You have scared me,
I can't be the person you go to when you're lonely,
I can't be the person who doesn't get attached.
That's my problem,
No Permission GrantedI don’t think I have ever liked someone as much as I like him.
My day rises and sets with him,
he’s the first thing on my mind in the morning
and the last thing on my mind at night.
Cheesy as it sounds it’s true.
I didn’t ask to like him,
it sort of just happened,
I just remember sitting in a café talking to him
and laughing with him and it sort of just happened.
Suddenly everyone else in the room just disappeared
and all I could see was him
and ever since it’s been the same.
I could be in a room full of people
and the only one I see clearly is him.
It’s so difficult liking him,
cause he’s the kind of guy EVERYONE likes
so you’re in constant competition with these other people,
be they actually competing or not,
you just get so jealous every time someone else gets to spend time with him
other than yourself and you just cant stand the idea of them being with someone else besides you.
Liking someone who
Dear You.If you would just take the time,
to figure out my mind,
you'd understand the sort of it.
You would find that all this time, since we met the first time,
You've been the only resident of it.
It's hard to find,
someone so kind,
and someone so full of love.
And I won't lie, I never thought I'd find,
Someone I can't stop thinking of.
It's been three years and only now my minds gears have realised,
it's always been you. From the very first day, my mind subconsciously let the love for you over grow.
And now I must know because I can no longer hold the love I have for you.
It ticks like a clock, it just wont stop,
in the back of my mind it stays. As much as I try, it's even made me cry.
I just can't let it go.
The dreams they show, a love I'm yet to know,
a love I'm meant to have.
I want to know, I need to know,
Will you be my other half?
Now don't be scared. I know this is too much, to throw at you in one go.
But it's been a year since it's all been clear, the feelings have stuck
Sorry In Advance.I'm sorry in advance,
I'm sorry I'm probably going to break your heart,
I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice,
and I've heard the voices.
Don't fall for me I'm not worth it.
You can do so much better than me.
I know I'm always saying I want someone to hold me,
someone to take my heart.
But I don't want you to take it,
I don't want yours cause I'll just break it.
It hurts me that I don't feel the same,
I fear the day when I have to tell you the truth.
I wish I could love you because you're the most magnificent person I've ever met.
But I'm in love with him,
He owns my heart.
He doesn't know it, but he has it and one day I hope to have his,
and I know one day I'm going to regret even saying this,
but sorry in advance,
I'm sorry if I've broken your heart.
But it's for the best, put your heart to rest,
because I'll just tear it apart.
God ForbidAs I lay upon my bed, listening to the lyrics that go along with a rhythm that tunes out the story of my being.
The story of my feelings, the story of my pain and suffering.
The words they speak so clearly to me, they get inside of me and they take over and they cause a range of emotions to go through me.
The words "I will always want you" hits me hard as it makes me think of that one person, that one beautiful, amazing,loving but incredibly evil and selfish person that has taken over my mind,my heart and my intelligence.
They stop me from thinking straight, they are evil, which causes me to question why I love them so much? Why?
If it causes you pain you should leave it behind but I can't leave them behind and I honestly don't know what's holding me back.
The lyrics, I can see them rise above from the speakers on my shelf, each song, one after the other telling another story of how I'm so pathetically in love and it's killing me...I have invisible wounds all over my body, inside and o
SignsOur body language gives away our feelings,
the closeness that we share is captured on my lens
You can't deny it we look like we're together,
but we can't deny we won't admit how we feel.
Now I could be wrong,
this could be totally one-sided,
but to me it looks as if you really care,
the look in your eyes I only see when you look at me,
every other girl it's as if you don't even care.
I get tingles in my body when I see you,
My smile gets stronger every day,
It's crazy how someone I feel so much for,
is also the one who's causing me the most pain.
I'm searching for the signs,
and they're all right in front of me,
but signs won't get us together,
it's up to you and me.
just look at what we are,
look at what we could be.
Because I promise you I will always make you as happy,
as you make me.
EdgesI'm standing here on the edge of this cliff,
I watch as the waves they crash and return to the place they miss,
I think of you and where we are,
I think of all the inner scars.
I can't stop my self from thinking,
I can't stop my self from, sinking.
I don't know how to get out of this mess,
Give me your hand and we can try to fix this.
You've got me close, to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
Closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
I need you to weigh this out,
I'm close to the edge, help me.
I can't see my self with any other,
and I can see myself getting along really well with your mother,
cause we have that one thing we both share,
We both love when you are there.
But now you've gotten really silent,
I never see you, never speak to you,
It's the sound of silence.
This is the loudest silence I've heard,
I don't know where you are cause you wont speak a single word.
You've got me close,to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
i need you t
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
HiddenIt's simple.Not difficult.Easy for me to admit to myself,
I like you.I love you.I hate you.
Okay I've never experienced the third one with you.
Honestly,I can't keep it in any longer.
I cannot continue to hide my feelings,But I have to.
I can't be so vulnerable.What ever makes me think you'd like me?
I mean my god I am not perfect.You say you don't have an ideal girl,
But even with that support I feel I'm not good enough for you.
I remember every moment we spend together,I always wonder if you do too?
I feel the warmth of your hugs spread through my body,I feel a rush of happiness and I feel secure.Do you?
Everyday I dream of being held in your arms and you telling me you'll never let go.
I dream of you getting down on one knee and asking me to be with you forever.
But those are just dreams,I'd never experience such an amazing reality.
I remember one day,not so long ago.I stared into your eyes and saw deep into your soul.
I saw that you were genuinely kind,as amazing as could be.One of
ReflectionsVal's pursuit led him to the foul beast's domain. The hollowed-out cavern reeked of blood and rancid meat. The dim light he had seen as he charged through the tunnel after the monster could now be identified: torches. Rows of mysteriously lit torches lined the walls of the huge cave. At its center was a substantially large labyrinth of mirrors.
He spotted the beast entering.
He spun his silver broadsword in his hand and hurried in behind it.
His garb was a simple blue and white crusader's leather with thick armored pads and reinforcing steel studs. Lightweight and flexible, but quite effective defense against blunt blows and – in a pinch – the slashing claws of the unholy spawn of the earth. All monster-hunters wore a similar variety in Val's experience. It would serve him well in these close quarters of the mirrored maze.
Right, left, forward, left, right he turned, always catching a glimpse of the beast's tail as he wove his way through the corridors. Every so often he sp
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More