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trappedI'm trapped in his ocean of not just words but actions.
His gentle caresses across my face,
way he looked into my eyes,
the way he held my hand and slid his thumb across mine,
experiencing the imaginary fireworks that they always talk about in the story books.
I'm trapped inside of these feelings.
I know I should hate him but I love him.
I know I should forget him but he's always on my mind.
I know I shouldn't have let it continue once it began, because I knew he wasn't what he claimed.
But I fell for him, as quick as a girl could fall,
When you're so used to feeling useless and unloved that tends to happen to you,
you can't believe that someone so amazingly beautiful could fall for someone like you so you fall fast and you give them your everything because you're afraid of losing them and you don't care about the consequences you just fall into that deep hole.
And what do you do when you realise he's not what he claimed to be? He's not the man he promised you he would be? You're trapp
InsomniaThe joining of our hands gave me this feeling like never before,
the warmth as it flowed through me,
brought a smile to my face,
like no other has done before.
It was simple, it was easy
and it was just what I needed.
The silence wasn't awkward,
I could feel our souls becoming closer
together through our hands.
The kiss, it felt as if there were fireworks in my heart,
raindrops on my lips and a happiness in my mind.
A happiness that had been lost,
thought lost forever.
The smile that I felt as our lips joined together,
the look into each others eyes as I raised my head.
The peace as if my entire life I had been waiting for this moment,
These feelings were uncontrollable,
for the first time in m life
I understood all those movie moments
after a kiss between two people.
The look afterwards,
I understood it.
As we lay beside each other in the bed,
your arm around me,
my head and hand on your chest
and your hand on top of my hand.
The peacefulness of it
Good GuyYou stumbled in my door,
at 3am on a Wednesday.
You laid your head on my lap and
you took a hold of my hand as
our fingers interlocked.
You looked me in the eyes,
promised me you were a good guy,
I agreed with a sigh and a smile.
And believed that you were.
You stayed with me that evening,
you held me all night,
I brushed my fingers through your brown hair,
as you began to fall asleep.
I began to think that for once,
things were going to go right for me.
You left me in the morning,
without a word to be said.
I didn't hear from you for hours,
You really wrecked with my head.
You invited me to a party,
I wasn't sure if I should have but I went,
I nervously dressed myself to look pretty
because I wanted to impress you.
The night went on and you soon warmed up to me once more,
you began to hold me close once again,
but this time I wasn't feeling it.
You have scared me,
I can't be the person you go to when you're lonely,
I can't be the person who doesn't get attached.
That's my problem,
No Permission GrantedI don’t think I have ever liked someone as much as I like him.
My day rises and sets with him,
he’s the first thing on my mind in the morning
and the last thing on my mind at night.
Cheesy as it sounds it’s true.
I didn’t ask to like him,
it sort of just happened,
I just remember sitting in a café talking to him
and laughing with him and it sort of just happened.
Suddenly everyone else in the room just disappeared
and all I could see was him
and ever since it’s been the same.
I could be in a room full of people
and the only one I see clearly is him.
It’s so difficult liking him,
cause he’s the kind of guy EVERYONE likes
so you’re in constant competition with these other people,
be they actually competing or not,
you just get so jealous every time someone else gets to spend time with him
other than yourself and you just cant stand the idea of them being with someone else besides you.
Liking someone who
Dear You.If you would just take the time,
to figure out my mind,
you'd understand the sort of it.
You would find that all this time, since we met the first time,
You've been the only resident of it.
It's hard to find,
someone so kind,
and someone so full of love.
And I won't lie, I never thought I'd find,
Someone I can't stop thinking of.
It's been three years and only now my minds gears have realised,
it's always been you. From the very first day, my mind subconsciously let the love for you over grow.
And now I must know because I can no longer hold the love I have for you.
It ticks like a clock, it just wont stop,
in the back of my mind it stays. As much as I try, it's even made me cry.
I just can't let it go.
The dreams they show, a love I'm yet to know,
a love I'm meant to have.
I want to know, I need to know,
Will you be my other half?
Now don't be scared. I know this is too much, to throw at you in one go.
But it's been a year since it's all been clear, the feelings have stuck
Sorry In Advance.I'm sorry in advance,
I'm sorry I'm probably going to break your heart,
I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice,
and I've heard the voices.
Don't fall for me I'm not worth it.
You can do so much better than me.
I know I'm always saying I want someone to hold me,
someone to take my heart.
But I don't want you to take it,
I don't want yours cause I'll just break it.
It hurts me that I don't feel the same,
I fear the day when I have to tell you the truth.
I wish I could love you because you're the most magnificent person I've ever met.
But I'm in love with him,
He owns my heart.
He doesn't know it, but he has it and one day I hope to have his,
and I know one day I'm going to regret even saying this,
but sorry in advance,
I'm sorry if I've broken your heart.
But it's for the best, put your heart to rest,
because I'll just tear it apart.
God ForbidAs I lay upon my bed, listening to the lyrics that go along with a rhythm that tunes out the story of my being.
The story of my feelings, the story of my pain and suffering.
The words they speak so clearly to me, they get inside of me and they take over and they cause a range of emotions to go through me.
The words "I will always want you" hits me hard as it makes me think of that one person, that one beautiful, amazing,loving but incredibly evil and selfish person that has taken over my mind,my heart and my intelligence.
They stop me from thinking straight, they are evil, which causes me to question why I love them so much? Why?
If it causes you pain you should leave it behind but I can't leave them behind and I honestly don't know what's holding me back.
The lyrics, I can see them rise above from the speakers on my shelf, each song, one after the other telling another story of how I'm so pathetically in love and it's killing me...I have invisible wounds all over my body, inside and o
SignsOur body language gives away our feelings,
the closeness that we share is captured on my lens
You can't deny it we look like we're together,
but we can't deny we won't admit how we feel.
Now I could be wrong,
this could be totally one-sided,
but to me it looks as if you really care,
the look in your eyes I only see when you look at me,
every other girl it's as if you don't even care.
I get tingles in my body when I see you,
My smile gets stronger every day,
It's crazy how someone I feel so much for,
is also the one who's causing me the most pain.
I'm searching for the signs,
and they're all right in front of me,
but signs won't get us together,
it's up to you and me.
just look at what we are,
look at what we could be.
Because I promise you I will always make you as happy,
as you make me.
EdgesI'm standing here on the edge of this cliff,
I watch as the waves they crash and return to the place they miss,
I think of you and where we are,
I think of all the inner scars.
I can't stop my self from thinking,
I can't stop my self from, sinking.
I don't know how to get out of this mess,
Give me your hand and we can try to fix this.
You've got me close, to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
Closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
I need you to weigh this out,
I'm close to the edge, help me.
I can't see my self with any other,
and I can see myself getting along really well with your mother,
cause we have that one thing we both share,
We both love when you are there.
But now you've gotten really silent,
I never see you, never speak to you,
It's the sound of silence.
This is the loudest silence I've heard,
I don't know where you are cause you wont speak a single word.
You've got me close,to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
i need you t
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
DenialI need to stop denying it,
I can't keep on hiding it.
Everyone else knows it,
well you don't.
I know it but I won't admit it.
I'm scared I'll regret it.
But I shouldn't be scared.
It can't be that hard can it?
I just look in to your eyes and say it right?
I just need to risk so much for you to give me the only reply,
The movies and films make it look so easy,
half the time the characters aren't even together and one of them says it and all is fine and dandy from there.
I just don't get it,
It's not that simple so why make us think it is?
I need to tell you,
But I refuse to because I want to hear it from you first.
I know that sounds selfish, and God knows you'll even say it to me.
But it's down to insecurities.
Down to me being so scared of losing you,
I can't lose you.
Not after all the time I've spent trying to catch you.
You've caught my heart, from the very second,minute I met you.
You've made me smile like no one else ever has,it's genuine.
You make me feel good ab
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
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