And I'm Sorry..

You take my breath away,
I'm here suffocating
with the reality that I'm falling faster than I had planned.
My chest is tight with the thoughts of being without you,
tighter when I think of you being with anyone else,
gasping for my final breath at the thought
that I'm slowly but surely giving all of me to you.
My Mind,
Body,
Heart,
Soul.
It's uncontrollable.
You're a hurricane in my life.
Taking every part of me with you as you go through.

I used to cry,
feel down,
but you've swept all of that away with every smile,kiss and hug that you've given me.
But my throat is filled with something,
a doubt,
a fear,
a darkness,
that I cannot swallow and I cannot breathe.
I don't know what it is,
but it's stopping me.

I'm holding onto all of me
by a loose thread and it's up to me to decide,
if I want to pass it over to you.
I've to decide whether or not to give you my heart.
Even though I think it's too late..

I'm scared,
terrified that you're going to break my heart just like he did.
You're going to leave me just like he did.
You're not going to care like I did.
I want to place all my trust in you but something is holding me back.
But I'd like to tell you now.

When I told you to leave, I wanted you to stay.
When I told you I didn't love anyone it was because I'm afraid to.
When you called me your girl,
I wanted to call you my guy but I couldn't find the words or the oxygen.
When you held my hand for the first time,
I wanted to tell you how I felt so safe beside you,
so secure, so happy.
How I never wanted you to let go of my hand because,
I never wanted a second of my life to go by without you by my side.
I wanted to tell you how you made me feel a way I never thought I could feel after him.
When you left I wanted to tell you to come back and to stay.
When I slept in my bed that night,
I've never missed someone more in my life.

I'm not good with expressing how I feel.

And I'm sorry.