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Good GuyYou stumbled in my door,
at 3am on a Wednesday.
You laid your head on my lap and
you took a hold of my hand as
our fingers interlocked.
You looked me in the eyes,
promised me you were a good guy,
I agreed with a sigh and a smile.
And believed that you were.
You stayed with me that evening,
you held me all night,
I brushed my fingers through your brown hair,
as you began to fall asleep.
I began to think that for once,
things were going to go right for me.
You left me in the morning,
without a word to be said.
I didn't hear from you for hours,
You really wrecked with my head.
You invited me to a party,
I wasn't sure if I should have but I went,
I nervously dressed myself to look pretty
because I wanted to impress you.
The night went on and you soon warmed up to me once more,
you began to hold me close once again,
but this time I wasn't feeling it.
You have scared me,
I can't be the person you go to when you're lonely,
I can't be the person who doesn't get attached.
That's my problem,
No Permission GrantedI don’t think I have ever liked someone as much as I like him.
My day rises and sets with him,
he’s the first thing on my mind in the morning
and the last thing on my mind at night.
Cheesy as it sounds it’s true.
I didn’t ask to like him,
it sort of just happened,
I just remember sitting in a café talking to him
and laughing with him and it sort of just happened.
Suddenly everyone else in the room just disappeared
and all I could see was him
and ever since it’s been the same.
I could be in a room full of people
and the only one I see clearly is him.
It’s so difficult liking him,
cause he’s the kind of guy EVERYONE likes
so you’re in constant competition with these other people,
be they actually competing or not,
you just get so jealous every time someone else gets to spend time with him
other than yourself and you just cant stand the idea of them being with someone else besides you.
Liking someone who
Dear You.If you would just take the time,
to figure out my mind,
you'd understand the sort of it.
You would find that all this time, since we met the first time,
You've been the only resident of it.
It's hard to find,
someone so kind,
and someone so full of love.
And I won't lie, I never thought I'd find,
Someone I can't stop thinking of.
It's been three years and only now my minds gears have realised,
it's always been you. From the very first day, my mind subconsciously let the love for you over grow.
And now I must know because I can no longer hold the love I have for you.
It ticks like a clock, it just wont stop,
in the back of my mind it stays. As much as I try, it's even made me cry.
I just can't let it go.
The dreams they show, a love I'm yet to know,
a love I'm meant to have.
I want to know, I need to know,
Will you be my other half?
Now don't be scared. I know this is too much, to throw at you in one go.
But it's been a year since it's all been clear, the feelings have stuck
Sorry In Advance.I'm sorry in advance,
I'm sorry I'm probably going to break your heart,
I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice,
and I've heard the voices.
Don't fall for me I'm not worth it.
You can do so much better than me.
I know I'm always saying I want someone to hold me,
someone to take my heart.
But I don't want you to take it,
I don't want yours cause I'll just break it.
It hurts me that I don't feel the same,
I fear the day when I have to tell you the truth.
I wish I could love you because you're the most magnificent person I've ever met.
But I'm in love with him,
He owns my heart.
He doesn't know it, but he has it and one day I hope to have his,
and I know one day I'm going to regret even saying this,
but sorry in advance,
I'm sorry if I've broken your heart.
But it's for the best, put your heart to rest,
because I'll just tear it apart.
God ForbidAs I lay upon my bed, listening to the lyrics that go along with a rhythm that tunes out the story of my being.
The story of my feelings, the story of my pain and suffering.
The words they speak so clearly to me, they get inside of me and they take over and they cause a range of emotions to go through me.
The words "I will always want you" hits me hard as it makes me think of that one person, that one beautiful, amazing,loving but incredibly evil and selfish person that has taken over my mind,my heart and my intelligence.
They stop me from thinking straight, they are evil, which causes me to question why I love them so much? Why?
If it causes you pain you should leave it behind but I can't leave them behind and I honestly don't know what's holding me back.
The lyrics, I can see them rise above from the speakers on my shelf, each song, one after the other telling another story of how I'm so pathetically in love and it's killing me...I have invisible wounds all over my body, inside and o
SignsOur body language gives away our feelings,
the closeness that we share is captured on my lens
You can't deny it we look like we're together,
but we can't deny we won't admit how we feel.
Now I could be wrong,
this could be totally one-sided,
but to me it looks as if you really care,
the look in your eyes I only see when you look at me,
every other girl it's as if you don't even care.
I get tingles in my body when I see you,
My smile gets stronger every day,
It's crazy how someone I feel so much for,
is also the one who's causing me the most pain.
I'm searching for the signs,
and they're all right in front of me,
but signs won't get us together,
it's up to you and me.
just look at what we are,
look at what we could be.
Because I promise you I will always make you as happy,
as you make me.
EdgesI'm standing here on the edge of this cliff,
I watch as the waves they crash and return to the place they miss,
I think of you and where we are,
I think of all the inner scars.
I can't stop my self from thinking,
I can't stop my self from, sinking.
I don't know how to get out of this mess,
Give me your hand and we can try to fix this.
You've got me close, to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
Closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
I need you to weigh this out,
I'm close to the edge, help me.
I can't see my self with any other,
and I can see myself getting along really well with your mother,
cause we have that one thing we both share,
We both love when you are there.
But now you've gotten really silent,
I never see you, never speak to you,
It's the sound of silence.
This is the loudest silence I've heard,
I don't know where you are cause you wont speak a single word.
You've got me close,to the edge,
I feel like I'm falling,
closer to the edge,
I can't keep my balance,
i need you t
Tight GripIt holds on to me tight,
like a child holds it's mothers hand.
The pain is excruciating,but I take it,
I take the pain for it.
It hurts me, it makes me lose my breath.
I can't breathe,I can't speak, I can't cry
even though I want to.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't continue
but I do.
I try my best not to think about it,
keep it from my mind.
But that's really hard to do when it's something that's stuck on your mind.
All of the time.
I shouldn't stay but I do,
I should go but I can't leave you
You're not mine,
but my heart is yours
You hold it tight in your hands,
You confuse my mind and have taken over my thoughts.
I really wish I could but I can't give up.
I'm a believer in fate and I believe it'll be worth the wait,
But I don't know how much more of this pain I can take.
Please just help me to get over you,
someone who I really need,
now I don't know if you need me too.
If you do then come and get me,
I'll say I won't wait forever but I will,
I really believe this is something,
I'm Done.You know what? I am actually done trying to impress you,trying to catch your attention just so you would take a single glance at me and maybe think “oh hey,there she is,I should talk to her” I have put so much energy, so much of my time,so much of my LIFE into you and you don’t even give me a single fucking glance! I don’t know why I do this to myself, and even though I say I’m done I know I’ll end up doing exactly what I’ve been doing when I see you next. You’re my weakness, you take away every single piece of strength that I have in me. I go out full of strength and as soon as I catch sight of you it’s gone.
The amount of make-up and money I’ve wasted trying to impress you. I’m not the girliest,prettiest or skinniest girl. I’m not every guys “dream”. I’m just me, the original who changes for nobody, not even you but I would change for you but I can’t, I can’t lie, nevermind lie to my
I am a MouseI am a mouse.
I am quiet, I am nothing.
I am a book that nobody has read.
I am an eclipsed sun and a cloaked moon.
I am irrelevant and unwanted, a broken toy in an attic.
I am the dust in your rear-view mirror that you leave behind.
I am the air that you breathe in and spit out as something different.
I am the palest white. I am the darkest black. I am the dullest, emptiest grey.
I am the old man with forgotten memories and the baby who has yet to make them.
I am a forgotten word, dangling on the tip of your tongue, hanging on the noose of your lips.
I am a dried up stream. I am a felled forest. I am an abandoned cornucopia of resolute nothingness.
And there is Hell burning in my eyes.
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
A void within meAlone on this inhospitable night, once again
I let my memories guide my lost steps,
Wandering amid the ghosts of my past.
As I walk along the quay,
I stare at the feeble Seine flowing:
She's dying by the street lamps' hands
While the whole city asphyxiates.
Reflecting my own lack of humanity
Over the river's lighted surface,
Griefs come and go at the water's rhythm.
Once again, on this breathtaking night,
My feelings are sealed and my chest hollow.
Purple rain, chills of cold.... Or regret? I crave
My musical drug, my remaining salvation,
Spreading a sweet poison within me and
Eroding the remaining happiness I still have.
I plug my headphones...
A grin of relief appears on my weary face,
I flee to lenient lands, where a familiar Angel tucks me in.
These notes of violin split the immutable silence,
Fill the hole in, lit a bonfire to my soul.
This mermaid sings my dreams to me,
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
you talk like a travestyoh, mercury boy, you can't
write your way out of this
body or out of this mind;
you can pray like it's high-fashion,
insist you're only burning yourself out
(but tell me - do you feel like a god yet?)
if only for murky mirrors &
silver cicadas caught
in your ribcage, you've
got a knack for decaying
The PointIt’s the taste of cake mix on the spoon, that first time you ‘help’ bake a cake.
It’s seeing the bright world afresh after a dark nightmare, when you first wake.
It’s when you make them laugh and, in that moment, everyone loves a clown.
It’s when your heart stops before the roller coaster plummets down, down.
It’s when the lights go out before your favourite band plays and you scream.
It’s that moment you look around and everything’s perfect enough to be a dream.
It’s the anticipation of waiting for a new episode of your favourite television show.
It’s the first time you listen to your favourite record and you just sort of know.
It’s reading a book cover-to-cover and a million times more and still crying at the ending.
It’s the stiff, tight, real feeling of a smiling scab as you watch the wound mending.
It’s when you first meet your best friend and you hate each other (but in a good way).
california wintersthe tears
I rationed have all
run out. Tuesday comes
up behind me and steals
my breath; my cat snores.
she can’t sleep soundly
since she lost her seventh
life. I’m like that, I’m always
worried someone will try to steal
what I’ve already given away.
I miss color. newsprint sobs
washed me out. I am a
blank canvas, I am a faceless,
I am one
of you. I wake up sweating
and it’s winter and I can’t
sleep because my memories
follow me between my sheets;
jake still won’t listen.
we never knew we were the
lucky ones, we scarred, too. don’t
touch me. don’t want
me, don’t bare my bones
when you think I’m not
watching. I’m afraid of
myself. breathing loud
enough that others know
I exist; you follow me,
needing, laughing, it’s
a game. who has lost
the most, we all want
to win; I’m so tired, so scared,
there’s no one in the world
who sees me. I can’t cry.
we’re in a drought.
After Some TimeAfter a while you learn the difference between holding someones hand and chaining to someones soul,you learn love doesn't mean leaning on someone and company doesn't mean you have security from the world.
You begin to learn that when your kissed its not a contract to a person and if they give you presents they aren't promises to you or anyone, you begin to accept your all defeats with your head held up high and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,no tears and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. So I'm telling you now to plant your own garden and decorate your own soul with everything you are, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.You learn that you really can endure anything, that you really are incredibly strong, and you really are worth the world.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More